The Fake Angeleno

Crushing New Yorker Caption Contest Failure #2

I wasn't nearly as confident on this one as my first foray into the caption contest.  Still, I thought this particular entry was respectably solid, though not meteorically brilliant.  Here it is: 

"The early nerd gets the worm."

 

Get it?  Change out two letters in a tired cliche and you've successfully yoked together both the bird and the nerd in this picture in a half-clever, yet very-accessible way.  Oh well.

The actual winning caption read:

"I want to live at my dad's."

Well done Mr. Sean Delaney of Stanardsville, VA.  You've beat me fair and square.  This time...

Crushing New Yorker Caption Contest Failure #1

I thought I had a surefire winner with this one...  So certain was I of capturing ultimate caption-writing glory, I kept checking the New Yorker website with the childlike alacrity of Ralphie from a Christmas Story waiting for his Red Rider secret decoder pin package to arrive.  Sadly, I was worse than Ralphie: I was more like the Ellen Burstyn character from Requiem for a Dream thinking she was finally going to be ON TEE VEE!  (And with a caption like this, why wouldn't I be excited?)   

"Can you believe it, Ron?  After all these years ... senior pard'ner!"

Get it?  The juxtaposition of Old West attire with a business setting is brilliantly captured by the phrase senior pard'ner! Am I right or am I right?  What more could Remnick and co. want?  I guess this:

"What makes you think I wouldn't be up for sushi?"

Well I have news for you, Mr. Neal Svalstad of El Cajon, CA.  Despite the fact that you look like a pretty cool guy as far as Google's concerned -- what with balancing a legal career with your rock n roll band and all -- I'm here to tell you that the best man did not win this contest.  It should have been me! Me, I tell you.  The Fake Angeleno.

Alas, true genius is seldom recognized in its own generation.