The Fake Angeleno

The Fake Angeleno Turns 1 Today

3,000 miles, 310 posts, and 20 lbs later, The Fake Angeleno is grateful to both old friends and new for all the support and camaraderie over the the year that's transpired since this first post.

L.A. Vs. NYC 6 Month Report Card: 6 Quality of Life Upgrades

We lit out for Los Angeles in a Penske moving truck on December 22 of last year under dark, gray skies.  The BQE was in a uniquely rotted state of ill-repair and dysfunction that day.  When we reached New Jersey, I turned back for a last look at the Empire State Building, but it had already been erased by the low-hanging rain clouds.  That day, we drove through a driving wind and steady precipitation.  The rest of the drive we attempted to dodge -- with mixed success -- the snowstorms punishing the rust belt and the high plains that week.  Eight days later we pulled the Penske truck into allied territory, (Pasadena) and not a moment too soon.  The sunlit San Gabriels looked welcoming and appealing, and the seventy-degree Rose Bowl weather felt just fine...  Even though I didn't know it quite yet, we had come home. 

Next Monday marks our sixth month anniversary of arriving in Los Angeles from NYC.  And as the Fake Angeleno, I'll be taking the rest of the week to make haphazard blog lists of things I like about my new habitat, things I miss about my old one, etc, etc...  Here's the first list:

L.A. vs NYC -- 6 Months, 6 Quality of Life Upgrades

The Scenery Within an Hour's Drive: Let's face it.  A starting lineup of stunning Pacific Ocean cliff views, gorgeous beaches, the Santa Monica Mountains, and the San Gabriel Mountains pretty much obliterates the Rockaways, the Jersey Shore, and some of the Hamptons if there's no traffic.  Even the lower Hudson valley can't compete, and I love me some lower Hudson valley. (Sorry Amanda)  The same rule pretty much applies to farther-away destinations, with Big Sur besting the Adirondacks and the San Diego area whipping the Philly metro in a blowout. 

The Housing Situation: As most of his friends and family can attest, The Fake Angeleno will not shut up about his backyard, his driveway, his garage, and his second bedroom.  Just six months ago, I had a Polish-speaking landlord and her family living above, below, and adjacent to my tiny apartment/hovel with paper thin walls, 6.5 foot ceilings, and some strange, crumbling paint residue/material that seemed to magically rematerialize each week.  The Fake Angeleno's new place is not cheap, but it's 500% more livable than a comparably-priced arrangement in Manhattan or North Brooklyn.  Yes, I've now become the guy who blurts out things like:  "Check out the square footage on this baby!  That counter-top is all granite, boy!  The best!"

The Weather: Do I even need to mention this one?  Blistering cold and oppressive humidity has been traded for year-round balminess, massive amounts of sunshine, and a "dry heat" in the summer.  My solution for beating the dry heat? Instead of curling up into the fetal position next to my overworked window unit, I just drive five minutes to Venice beach and jump in the ocean.

The Vibe: Goodbye stressed out, hyper competitive, pretentious, self congratulatory, "I went to school in Boston and still take piano lessons 15 hours a week when I'm not tackling an urban planning course or teaching kids how to read Mandarin" New Yorkers.  Hello well-tanned, laid back, welcoming, "I figure I'll make it in pictures eventually, but if not that's cool too" Angelenos.

The Culture:  I've been to more great cultural events here in the last six months than I went to my last year in New York.  The reason?  I think I'm, like, totally less stressed and self-absorbed.  I've traded Brian Lehrer for Nic Harcourt and the earth is still going round the sun.  And my music tastes have become a lot more current, too. (Sadly, I have no idea how Anthony Weiner's run at Gracie mansion is progressing.)

The Coffee Shops: Even though I'm not the frontman for a recently-signed indie band, the staff seems to still notice I'm alive and in need of caffeine.  I'm astonished to find I can get some friendly banter with my purchase even though my haircut resembles Al Gore's and my fashion sense mimics a middle-rung insurance executive who's still dressed by his mom. 

Assorted Travel Photos

In no particular order...

New Mexico...

Sunset on Arizona Interstate

Countdown to the great pinecone drop in Flagstaff, AZ.

Winslow to Needles, CA

To the two members of the California Highway Patrol who broke my girlfriend's antique desk in half while *inspecting* the back of the van, *thanks* for such a warm welcome to your *golden* state. 

We're filing a complaint with the Governator and probably Erik Estrada too.

Amarillo to Albuquerque to Winslow, AZ

From Amarillo, it was a four hour clip over to Albuquerque, where we pulled off the highway and headed into town.  Near the University of New Mexico is a great strip of civilization in the form of coffee shops, tattoo parlors, book shops, restaurants and music clubs.  It was the first we'd seen since leaving New York and quite a welcome sight.   We parked the  van and strolled around. 

On the recommendation of Fake Angeleno Guest blogger and UNM graduate Alysia Gray Painter, we ate at Frontier restaurant -- an open-24-hour Albuquerque institution serving Tex Mex and breakfast.  The local delicacy of Southwestern-style hash browns (smothered with cheese, green chiles and hot sauce) was a real find.  Washed down with a cup of strong coffee, I felt completely human again after this meal. 

From Albuquerque, we blew through the rest of New Mexico and entered Arizona.  Buoyed by the great meal from Frontier, we felt we could drive all the way to L.A.  Two hours later, we suddenly tired out just in time to stop for the night in Winslow, Arizona. 

Also on the recommendation of A.G. Painter, we ate dinner at La Posada Hotel.  This place was great!  (So was the food.)

 

The hotel was built by famed Southwestern architect Mary Colter in 1929 as a grand resort for the Sante Fe railroad.  Now a historical landmark, the place is incredibly well maintained, and stepping inside gives the disorienting rush of the jazz age come to dwell in a deep desert province.  I highly recommend it if you ever pass through...      

St. Louis to Witchita to Amarillo

After leaving Southern Illinois, we shot Northward to St. Louis for a nod to the Gateway Arch and my college alma mater, Washington University.  Then we turned the Penske van West on I-70 to streak across the length of Missouri to Kansas City, which, looked rust-belt-horrible in the gloomy weather of Wednesday.  Our plan was to keep pushing along 70 towards Boulder, but a forecasted snowstorm forced us to turn South and take shelter for the night in Witchita, Kansas.  Sure enough, four inches fell while we were warm in the local Marriott.  The next morning, I was able to scrape off the windows without much problem, and we were on our way.  We dropped South to Oklahoma City and then pointed West again on I 40, nee Route 66 towards the Texas Panhandle.  Our final stop for the evening was Amarillo, where we availed ourself of the local Olive Garden (thanks for the gift certificate Uncle Mark!) and then holed up in the Holiday Inn Express.  Today, we're pointed to Albuquerque for lunch, and the Arizona border by nightfall. 

More to come...

Trip Update

We're still in Southern Illinois today, with plans to head out at daybreak tomorrow for points West.  We're still undecided as to whether we'll head for Boulder to visit Jessica's cousin, or take a more conservative, ugly route through Oklahoma and Texas to avoid any chance for bad weather and snowy mountain passes. 

The route so far has been not so bad, minus some thick fog in Eastern Pennsylvania and some heavy rain and wind near Wheeling, West Virginia.

More soon...

Moving To L.A. December 22

Yes folks, you've read it correctly.  Our nearly 7-year New York City run comes to a close on 12/22.  The Penske moving van has been reserved.  The landlord has been notified.  Mailboxes Etc. has been contacted about boxes and bubble wrap.  Watch this space for more trip details and much lugubrious Big Apple eulogizing.